Sh*t My … Says

Below is a list of over two dozen quotations made by my nephews, niece, sister and brother in law.

Sh*t my …

  1. … bro in law Says: “How come you don’t want a myPhone? Chuck Norris has one.” and “iPhone is grammatically incorrect”
  2. … 10 year old niece says: “I love you daddy!”. … Bro In Law Replies: “What do you want?”
  3. … 10 year old niece says: “Why isn’t the Croatian news in English? (offensive text omitted)”
  4. … bro in law says, “(Care Bears)…are fuzzy little communists”
  5. … bro in law says, “Go tweet yourself”.
  6. … 10 year old niece says (to her mom), “If you love me you wouldn’t feed me this crap.”
  7. … 8 year old nephew Luka says: “Its not Kung Fu Panda, its Kung Fu Luka Of Awesomeness.”
  8. … sister says after I told her we’ll have coffee in a half hour: “Sounds good, that gives me 30 minutes to nap”
  9. … sister said when I pondered about the development of ugly shoes that are uber comfortable & you won’t be robbed for them: “Crocs”.
  10. … sister says: “I’m gonna do a Mljet triathlon. Biking, sauntering to the cafe & drinking coffee…can also go for a swim!”
  11. … bro in law says about my marzipan flavoured cappuccino:”It must be good as it comes in a foil package without an expiry date”  
  12. … 8 year old nephew says, “Mom is the oldest in Smurf years”.
  13. … bro in law says, “The world will end when midnight reaches Mayanland”.
  14. … bro in law says, “That hair salon in Dubrovnik is the most efficient thing I’ve seen since I came to this country 20 years ago.”
  15. … 15 year old nephew says (to me), “I can’t hear you over my awesomeness” .
  16. … bro in law says, “Starbucks coffee costs $14 with all the sprinkles and stuff and it’s illegal to post prices online”.
  17. … sister says, “The point is that I don’t have time for 3 cups of coffee a day.” FYI – she lives on island in the middle of nowhere.
  18. … 10 year old niece says while wearing a little red riding hood cloak, “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for”.
  19. … bro in law says, “In a democratic country if 80% of the population wants a Death Star then the government has to build a Death Star”.
  20. … 10 year old niece says, “You can have my mood ring. It says I’m happy; it doesn’t work”.
  21. … 10 year old niece says after I showed her my last tweet about her, “Uncle Martin, you wouldn’t be famous if I wasn’t here.”
  22. … 10 year old niece says to a waiter that was picking on her, “You son of a fatherless goat I spit in your yard!”
  23. … bro in law says, “Books, what’s that? It’s the internet made out of wood”.
  24. … 7 year old nephew says, “I wish I was Jesus, except for the dying part. I could walk on water”.
  25. … 10 year old niece says, “I can’t watch X-Men because I have X-alytus.”
  26. … bro in law says, “He’s the pope because Dennis Rodman turned it down.”
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